In this episode I talked about the importance of becoming the bigger and better deal for your ex boyfriend. Well, it turns out that becoming a bigger and better deal also has a correlation to how high of value that you are.
So, what you have to do Maggie is find a way to re-obtain your value and I think I have just the way to do it. If you do this then you substantially raise your chances of making your ex boyfriend commit to you.
Go back into NC and if he does go back to the new girl then who cares. You should have enough confidence in yourself to know that he will leave her for you. This is my situation.
I was with my ex for four years.
We broke up four months ago. We broke up because of lack of communication. He started seeing another girl during this time. It just so happened that I was implementing the 30 day no contact rule during this time. I was working on myself, getting into the best shape of my life and getting back to school. A few weeks later, he started texting me.
Eventually, we What to do after you hook up with your ex up. I was listening to one of your podcasts about always leaving a man wanting more.
He keeps telling me all these things that are confusing. What do I do? Thanks for leaving this great voicemail for me to feature on the podcast. The format of the show takes questions from visitors that come to the website.
I think I really have a good game plan for her today. She was with her ex for four years. Four months ago, they broke up. After the breakup, he started seeing another girl. It was during this time that Maggie started doing the 30 day no contact rule. It seems like she did it to perfection. She worked on herself.
She got in the best shape of her life and the results shone through. Her ex came back to her, or at least wanted to come back to her.
He started reaching out to her through text messages. Text messages turned into flirting. Then flirting turned into hooking up, which is a no-no. First, I want to congratulate you, Maggie, on getting through the no contact rule successfully and implementing it perfectly. In a way, it did work. The no contact rule worked for you. For the listeners who are on the fence about doing the no contact rule, it works. The proof is in the pudding right here.
We have a live case study example from Maggie. I want to talk about why it was a mistake. The mistake you made was hooking up with your boyfriend when he did not commit to you. This is one of the negatives of the no contact rule. It makes things worse on your ex-boyfriend because it increases your interest in him. Yesterday, I talked about a two-pronged approach with the no contact rule in Episode Thirty days is a long time for a lot of women. In a perfect world, you would not have hooked up with him until he committed.
I think we can all agree with that. Why is it a mistake?
In my opinion, it lowers your value. I talked about this in the friends with benefits episode. In that episode, I talked about value. Men are hardwired to hunt for women. Of course, we want to hunt the woman who is the highest value target. Men always want the woman who is the bigger and better deal. Maybe the way she looks does matter.